Sunday, July 15, 2012

Mid-Summer Reflection


I realize I haven’t exactly met my weekly quota for blogging while at camp.  It’s too hard.  I forgot that the daily work of camp is life-consuming, and the little extra free time that you do have is spent having normal adult conversations and hang-out time with your co-workers.

I think I got this tired last year, but I can’t remember if I got this mentally and emotionally frustrated.  I think it’s because it’s my second consecutive year at the same camp.  Today I put my thoughts into words for a fellow counselor, and I realized while explaining my feelings to her that I am disappointed in what this summer has been like.  I expected to see change in the returning campers, not to mention change in myself and the rest of the staff.  Instead, everything seems dead and stagnant.  I notice selfishness a lot these days, in other people and myself.  I have trouble seeing Christ work through anyone.
           
This week I wasn’t sure if I could make it.  But it’s Friday, and I did.  Even though I reacted with pessimism and a cynical attitude, God still sent blessings my way.   He sends them in the form of the positive attitudes of other people.

One of our New Zealand counselors told us at a staff meeting that she’s so happy to be here, that she’s not homesick yet like Camp America said she should be and that she’s having the time of her life.  I knew her week wasn’t perfect by any means, but just that she could say that…it was uplifting.

The morning skits and the talent show were hilarious this week.  I’m so grateful that some of the staff can keep a sense of humor throughout this chaos.

I had good, deep conversations with several of my friends/coworkers this week.  Those are always the greatest blessing of all.  Some people directly encouraged me about my situation in life, others encouraged me through their general attitude of optimism and joy.

A few days ago I was hopeless.  I was at the end of my rope, and almost wondered if I should just drive away on my night off and never come back.

Regardless of my feelings, my Dad in Heaven takes care of me, using other people.  I can never forget that.

Sunday, June 3, 2012


A full week of camp has already past and I have more than enough to write about.  For those who aren’t familiar with how this works, all forty-some counselors go through an intensive 24/7 two-week staff training where we live, work and play together.  We’ve already learned how to facilitate some activities such as the high ropes course, archery, and the pool party that goes down every Sunday night when kids first arrive at camp.  It has been crazy and fun and exhausting. 

My stomach was tied up in knots when I was about an hour from camp last Sunday.  I constantly battle the lie that no one really likes me, and after having not seen these people for a year (as well as the prospect of meeting new staff), I was terrified at the thought that I wouldn’t get a warm welcome.  I shouldn’t have been afraid.  I was greeted with excited hugs and smiles and questions about vet school.  Friendship has never come easy to me but I feel like I’ve been getting better, and I can honestly say that with both old and new staff I have made good first steps to genuine, deep friendship.  This past week at camp has affirmed that I’m growing and changing, and it’s so important.  In fact, I talked to one of my college friends (whom I will call “Disney”) tonight, and she told me that I seem so different – a lot more confident and better at communicating with people.

Our camp director gave us bags with this quote attached to them:
“We need holy friendships with people who are willing to challenge the sins we’ve come to love, affirm the gifts we’re afraid to claim, and dream the dreams we would not otherwise have dreamed.”  I don’t know who said it, but it’s so true.  I hope it happens this summer, because I feel like I can only give the kids what they need and deserve if my tank is full.

I know it will be a struggle, something that I must meet each day with courage and prayer.  It’s terrifically easy to believe no one cares about you and to dissolve into hopelessness.  It’s much harder to be hopeful and honest.  Something that can help are “Ebenezers.”  One of the camp chaplains gave us a talk about them the other day.  Ebenezer means “rock of help,” and the Israelites set up rocks at specific places to remind themselves of something amazing God had done for them.  We have Ebenezers of our own – a specific place, a gift from a friend – something tangible and physical that reminds us of an act of God.  I’ll be looking for Ebenezers at camp this summer and sharing some of them with you.

And now, some pictures from the camp farm for your enjoyment!


Saturday, January 14, 2012

Bovine Encounters and Falconry

My roommate Jen and her fiance, Jason, have amazing hobbies -- one of which is falconry. I got to see them hunt the bird last weekend (Their dog Sierra also was a part of the hunt). Warning before I even start, the bird was everywhere so I didn't get any amazing photos. I was instructed to turn around and cover my face with my hands if she attacked me (which was apparently a very real possibility). So, I had to measure the pros and cons of being mauled by a hawk with or without my precious camera.

We took off through the woods, Jason yelling commands which I'm afraid I didn't understand; but the bird did. When he saw a squirrel, Jason would shake vines on the tree it was in and shout something that sounded like "Hyahyahya!!" which apparently meant both to hawk and dog "KILL IT!" The bird went crazy, the dog went crazy, and the squirrel ran for its life.
Sierra would wait under the tree -- if the squirrel headed down near the ground she'd try to get it.
Once Autumn got ahold of the squirrel, it was all over in the blink of an eye. At one point, she caught a squirrel in its nest and refused to return to Jason, instead eating it fifty feet up in a tree (smart bird). Sierra, Jen and I wandered off while Jason watched Autumn finish her meal.
We met some cows, who were curious about us and would follow us when our backs were turned but suspiciously stopped when we glanced back.


Look! A cow skull. See how there's no upper incisors? (oooooh vet school)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Some snapshots of my Christmas:

I started the holidays in Santa's workshop making some presents.


Yip, yip, Appa!

Left my school house.
Enjoyed seeing our living room get the present it has always dreamed of: a Christmas tree of special magnificence.


Woke up to a beautiful Christmas morning (though this technically wasn't that morning; had to fit this photo in somewhere).

Read The Lord of the Rings by the fire.

In all, a pretty good break.