Mid-Summer Reflection

I realize I haven’t exactly met my weekly quota for blogging while at camp.  It’s too hard.  I forgot that the daily work of camp is life-consuming, and the little extra free time that you do have is spent having normal adult conversations and hang-out time with your co-workers.

I think I got this tired last year, but I can’t remember if I got this mentally and emotionally frustrated.  I think it’s because it’s my second consecutive year at the same camp.  Today I put my thoughts into words for a fellow counselor, and I realized while explaining my feelings to her that I am disappointed in what this summer has been like.  I expected to see change in the returning campers, not to mention change in myself and the rest of the staff.  Instead, everything seems dead and stagnant.  I notice selfishness a lot these days, in other people and myself.  I have trouble seeing Christ work through anyone.

           

This week I wasn’t sure if I could make it.  But it’s Friday, and I did.  Even though I reacted with pessimism and a cynical attitude, God still sent blessings my way.   He sends them in the form of the positive attitudes of other people.

One of our New Zealand counselors told us at a staff meeting that she’s so happy to be here, that she’s not homesick yet like Camp America said she should be and that she’s having the time of her life.  I knew her week wasn’t perfect by any means, but just that she could say that…it was uplifting.

The morning skits and the talent show were hilarious this week.  I’m so grateful that some of the staff can keep a sense of humor throughout this chaos.

I had good, deep conversations with several of my friends/coworkers this week.  Those are always the greatest blessing of all.  Some people directly encouraged me about my situation in life, others encouraged me through their general attitude of optimism and joy.

A few days ago I was hopeless.  I was at the end of my rope, and almost wondered if I should just drive away on my night off and never come back.

Regardless of my feelings, my Dad in Heaven takes care of me, using other people.  I can never forget that.